Deadlines are Just Suggestions… Right?

I have come to the unfortunate conclusion that my creative process involves writing an entire novel, deciding I've finished it, announcing a publication date and then, at the last possible moment, realizing that I would actually prefer to start again.

It's a marvellous system, really. Particularly if your goal is to accomplish an enormous amount of work while maintaining absolutely no confidence in your ability to predict when any of it will be finished.

Which brings me to an announcement I wish I didn't have to make.

Even the Fire Loves You Until You Are Ash will not be published on November 13th.

I'm sorry.

I would love to follow that statement with a reassuring new publication date, but I've decided that perhaps the wisest thing I can do at this point is stop pretending I know when I'll be finished writing a book.

Because, apparently, I do not.

If you've been following my Writing About Writing articles, you'll already know that I recently made the rather dramatic decision to delete everything after the two prologues of Even the Fire… . I also completely reimagined a character, which had the minor inconvenience of fundamentally changing the story I was trying to tell.

At the time, I was deep into what was supposed to be my final pass of editing. The manuscript was written. The story was complete. I was supposed to be making little adjustments, catching errors and preparing everything for publication.

Instead, I looked at the finished manuscript and thought, Well, this simply won't do.

I wish I could tell you that I had discovered one glaring problem that could be solved with a few clever edits. Unfortunately, what I discovered was that I wasn't particularly happy with the writing itself.

There were parts I liked, of course, and moments I was proud of, but taken as a whole, the book wasn't what I wanted it to be. The more I read, the more I realized that I had been trying to convince myself it was finished because I desperately wanted it to be finished, rather than because I genuinely believed I'd written the story as well as I could.

And that's an uncomfortable realization to have when you've already told people when they can expect to read it.

I think the most frustrating part is that I love these characters. I love the world I've created for them, and I'm genuinely excited about the stories I have planned. I know who these people are, what motivates them and what I want readers to experience when they spend time with them. But somewhere between the ideas in my head and the words on the page, I hadn't quite managed to give them the story I believed they deserved.

I could have published it anyway. There was nothing physically preventing me from finishing the formatting, uploading the manuscript and calling it done. But I would have been publishing something I wasn't proud of, and I don't think that's fair to the characters, the story or the people who are kind enough to spend their time reading my work.

I'm not suggesting that the revised version will be perfect. I'm under no illusion that I'll ever write a book that couldn't benefit from another edit, and I'm fairly certain that if left unsupervised, I could continue rearranging sentences until the sun burns out.

But I do want to be able to look at the finished book and feel that I've done my best with it.

And I wasn't there yet.

The good news is that I'm genuinely excited about the changes. I think the story is becoming something much stronger, and I'm looking forward to exploring the characters in ways I hadn't quite managed in the previous version. There's something wonderful about finally understanding what wasn't working, even when that understanding arrives at the spectacularly inconvenient moment when you're supposed to be finished.

The less wonderful part is having to actually do all the work again.

I have considered lodging a formal complaint with the person responsible for this situation, but unfortunately, she is also the person who would have to investigate it.

I don't anticipate a satisfactory resolution.

There is, however, another reason I'm giving myself more time, and this is the part where I'm going to be a little more serious.

I haven't been particularly well lately.

I've made jokes about it, because humour is generally how I prefer to deal with things that are frustrating or unpleasant, but the truth is that I've been quite under the weather. I'm also dealing with a frustrating dental situation that's going to involve surgery, and between that, being sick and the amount of writing I've been trying to accomplish, I've reached a point where I'm feeling rather overwhelmed.

I'm tired, I'm frustrated, and yes, I've been feeling a little sorry for myself.

I'd like to be able to tell you that I'm powering through it all with extraordinary determination, but the reality is that I need to give myself a bit more time. I want to enjoy writing this book, and lately I've been spending far too much energy worrying about finishing it and not nearly enough enjoying the process of creating it.

That's not how I want to feel about something I love doing.

So I'm going to take the pressure off, at least where publication deadlines are concerned.

Going forward, I've decided that I won't be announcing release dates for my books.

I know. A revolutionary concept.

Instead of enthusiastically informing everyone that a novel will be published on a particular day and then discovering that I've apparently forgotten to account for my own personality, I'm going to finish writing the book, edit it, format it, prepare it for publication and then tell you when it's actually available.

Imagine that.

A book announcement accompanied by an actual book.

I realize this is probably how sensible people have been doing things for quite some time, but I have never claimed to be particularly sensible when it comes to my creative endeavours.

I'll still share what I'm working on, of course. I'll still talk about the characters, the stories and the ridiculous things that happen while I'm trying to write them. I enjoy bringing readers along for that part of the process, and I have no intention of disappearing into a cave until the manuscript is finished.

Although, depending on how the dental surgery goes, a cave might briefly be appealing.

The difference is that I won't be attaching a date to a story before I'm completely confident it's ready to leave my computer.

When something is published, you'll hear about it through my newsletter. If you haven't subscribed yet, you can do that here, and you'll also receive a free digital copy of my debut novel, On the Edge of After, as a thank-you for joining me.

That way, rather than receiving another enthusiastic announcement about a book that may or may not survive my next round of editing, you'll receive the much more satisfying news that the book actually exists and you can read it.

I think we'll all be happier with that arrangement.

As for Even the Fire Loves You Until You Are Ash, I don't know when it will be published. I wish I did, and I'm genuinely sorry to those of you who have been looking forward to November 13th.

What I can tell you is that I haven't lost my enthusiasm for the story. Quite the opposite. I love these characters, I believe in what I'm trying to create, and I'm excited to give them the attention they deserve.

I just need a little longer to do it properly.

And perhaps, somewhere along the way, I'll finally learn that setting a publication deadline before I've finished editing a novel is an excellent way to guarantee that I'll immediately discover seventeen things I'd like to change.

Until then, I'll be here, writing, rewriting and occasionally staring at my manuscript as though it has personally betrayed me.

Thank you for being patient with me, for reading my work and for continuing to show an interest in the stories I'm trying to tell. It means more than I can properly express, especially on the days when writing feels a little harder than I'd like it to.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a novel to finish.

Again.

Peace, love, and inspiration,
Britt 💚