30 Days of Radical Honesty Journalling Challenge – Day 28: What did I have to lose in order to find myself?

It turned out, what I had to lose… was a person who donated fifty percent of my chromosomes.
Someone whose blood runs through my veins.
Someone I once believed I needed in order to be whole.

Going through the “family” trials and tribulations of this past year—family in heavy quotation marks, because I do not count most of those involved as anything more than a persistent nuisance—I finally saw the truth. The thing standing between me and the life I wanted wasn’t circumstance. It wasn’t luck. It wasn’t some external force.

It was them.

It was the approval I kept reaching for, from someone who had never offered it.

It was the desperate hope that one day, somehow, I would be enough for someone who had made it clear I never would be.

Letting go of that hope was brutal.

But letting go of that hope was also the beginning of my freedom.

And now, standing here on the other side, I have never felt more alive.

I’m flourishing. Growing. Expanding in ways I never thought possible. The dam that once held me back has shattered—and in its place is a river, wild and relentless and mine.

My writing, once slow and careful and cautious, now comes pouring out in glob after glob of truth. It doesn’t drip and drab across the page anymore. It floods. And I am no longer afraid to share it. I am proud of the words I put into the world. My website is a collage of old and new pieces, a living, breathing testament to the girl who survived and the woman who thrives.

I have never felt more free.

I have never felt more confident.

I have never felt more inspired.

What I lost was a false hope tied to a false idol.

What I found was myself.

Peace, Love, and Inspiration,
~Britt Wolfe💚