Animal #02: The Siberian Tiger – Ghost of the Forest, Muscle of a Myth, and Mood of a Legend
After naming eight of my top ten and realising I may, in fact, be a solitary animal that thrives in cold isolation, I’m finally ready to announce my second favourite animal in the entire world: the Siberian tiger. No other creature wears solitude so beautifully or power so quietly. She doesn’t need applause. She doesn’t need company. She needs snow, space, and silence. She is all muscle, all mystery, and just enough menace to make her unforgettable. Welcome to the top tier. It’s frosty, forested, and fiercely private—just the way she likes it.
Animal #01: The Polar Bear – Queen of Ice, Rage, and Survival
After 99 animals, several identity crises, and more emotional attachment to weird mammals than I care to admit, I’m finally ready to declare it: the polar bear is my number one favourite animal in the entire world. No other creature combines elegance, fury, and emotional unavailability quite so flawlessly. She is massive, solitary, vaguely murderous, and quietly watching the world fall apart from the edge of the ice sheet. In other words: an icon. A metaphor. A role model. Welcome to the top of the list. It’s cold here—and perfect.
Animal #09: The Mink – Fancy, Ferocious, and Frankly Unavailable
It brings me great pleasure—and a healthy dose of fear—to officially crown the mink as my 9th favourite animal in the entire world. Equal parts fashion icon and unapologetic menace, the mink is what happens when a bottle of expensive perfume grows teeth and starts hunting for sport. This creature is sleek, solitary, and slightly unhinged—in other words, absolutely my type. If you’ve ever wanted to witness elegance with a kill count, scroll on. The mink is here, and it’s wearing its villain era well.
Animal #08: The Sable – Dangerously Soft and Mildly Untrustworthy
At long last, we arrive at animal number eight—a creature so luxurious, elusive, and suspiciously fast-moving that it practically demanded a spot in the top ten. The sable is, quite frankly, ridiculous. It looks like a cross between a fashion-forward ferret and a forest cryptid, with fur so soft it has ruined entire economies and a face that says, “You can look, but I might bite.” I have loved this twitchy little menace for years, and now—finally—I’m ready to enshrine it where it belongs: just below the snow leopard, but several rungs above any creature that’s ever willingly worn a saddle.
Animal #07: The Snow Leopard – Serving Looks, Avoiding Eye Contact
It’s finally time. After years of silent deliberation, long walks in the mountains (mentally, if not physically), and a deep personal resonance with creatures who avoid eye contact and thrive in solitude, I’m ready to make it official: the snow leopard is my 7th favourite animal in the entire world. This elusive, bristly, heartbreakingly beautiful big cat has earned its place on the list—not just for its looks (though come on), but for its commitment to avoiding unnecessary interaction. In this latest edition of the Top 100, we honour the introverted icon of the animal kingdom—and possibly the only creature more glamorous and emotionally unavailable than I am.
Animal #97: The Koala – Australia’s Greatest Scam Artist
Koalas have spent decades fooling the world into thinking they’re soft, snuggly little angels, when in reality, they are bristly, perpetually grumpy, and running on a diet that barely keeps them alive. They sleep 22 hours a day, scream like demons when they’re awake, and have somehow managed to convince humanity that they are adorable despite their questionable life choices. In this article, we’re pulling back the curtain on these clawed, eucalyptus-addled tree goblinsto expose the truth: koalas are not what they seem, and frankly, they don’t care what you think about it.
Animal #98: Fancy Chickens – Nature’s Most Overdressed Peacocks
If you’ve ever looked at a chicken and thought, Hmm, this could be fancier, congratulations—you are not alone. Fancy chickens are what happen when nature and selective breeding decide that farm animals should also have red carpet moments. Some have bouffant hairdos straight out of an 80s music video, others look like they were styled by a particularly enthusiastic drag queen, and a few seem to be actively challenging the concept of vision. But whether they resemble feathered fashion icons or glorified tumbleweeds, one thing’s for sure—these birds take the phrase too much as a compliment.
Animal #99: The Rhinoceros – The Armoured Tank of the Animal Kingdom
If you’ve ever looked at a rhino and thought, Wow, that creature seems like it could single-handedly win a medieval jousting tournament, you wouldn’t be wrong. Rhinos are nature’s version of an overbuilt SUV—massive, indestructible, and occasionally prone to charging at things for no apparent reason. But beneath that tough, tank-like exterior lies a surprisingly sensitive soul (one that, much like your sunburn-prone friend, is just trying to avoid bug bites and UV damage). In this deep dive into one of Earth’s most prehistoric-looking wonders, we’ll explore the intelligence, absurd speed, and mild grumpiness that make the rhinoceros the undeniable star of any savanna showdown.
Animal #100: The Seagull – Nature’s Feathered Opportunist
Seagulls: the undisputed masterminds of snack theft, the reason you can’t enjoy a beach picnic in peace, and quite possibly the most shameless creatures to ever take flight. But beyond their reputation as winged criminals, these birds are intelligent, adaptable, and alarmingly strategic when it comes to getting what they want. In this deep dive into one of nature’s most entertaining (and mildly infuriating) creatures, I explore the brilliance, audacity, and downright chaos of the seagull. Buckle up—this one’s for anyone who has ever lost a fry to the sky.